Dont be selfish in life

A married couple in their early 60s was out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.

Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said, "For being such an exemplary married couple and for being faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish."

"Ooh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband," said the wife. The fairy moved her magic stick and - abracadabra! - two tickets for the new QM2 luxury liner appeared in her hands.

Now it was the husband's turn. He thought for a moment and said, "Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this only occurs once in a lifetime, so I'm sorry, my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me".

The wife, and the fairy, was deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish...

So the fairy made a circle with her magic stick, and -abracadabra! - The husband
became 92 years old.

One line humour

[1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.

[2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.

[3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

[4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.

[5] A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.

[6] Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

[7] Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

[8] You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

[9] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

[10] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

[11] Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

[12] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

[13] Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

[14] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

[15] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

[16] You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.

[17] It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

[18] Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.

[19] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

[20] Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something

[21] They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak!

[22] Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come.

[23]Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality just like two boxers
shaking hands before the fight begins!

[24]Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

[25]It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

[26]There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.

[27]There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it!

The tale of a date - very funny

She is my first and the only love till this point. Her name is Nivedita, a software engineer by profession. She is turning twenty-four shortly and she is undoubtedly the most beautiful girl on earth. I made it a point to share my feelings today with her, hoping this letter would do it all. I have not written any letters in my life till now, and this is perhaps the first time I pen down my thoughts and expectations for the person I love the most on earth.

It's been four years since we met each other and a strong bond has grown between us through these years. I was unaware of her love for a long time. In fact, I hadn't spoken a word with her till about a year I had seen her for the first time. It was in one long journey in train, I understood her love for me. It happened a year ago.

It was a trip from Kanyakumari to Chennai in Kanyakumari Express. We had passed Vizhupuram and it was 3 am in the morning. I thought I was the only one who was awake in the whole compartment in that early hour. But to my surprise, she was also awake.

I didn't know then that it was for me she had got up that early. Hardly had she seemed to move her sight away from me. She smiled at me very often and every time I encountered that cute smile, I started eagerly awaiting the next battle with her smile and shining eyes. Her smile had everything in it, the story of unbelievable affection, care and what not.

From that moment, till now, I too have loved her to a great extent. We have never exchanged words about the love we have towards each other, but words are too less to reflect the amount of affection and love we share. I have always thought that the love would remain throughout our life and it happened to be the same till three months back.

Vivek had come into my life three months back. In fact I myself had waited his arrival for quite a long time, but from the moment he arrived, he has been the worst enemy in my life. Nivedita and he had grown close over times, and the fraction of time she spent with me got lowered to a great extent. Even the latest Sensex fall would be less compared to the fall in her affection for me.
I have wondered how it could suddenly happen, after near to four long years of understanding and love amidst us. At times, I have felt like killing that guy Vivek, but I have not had that much strength or braveness to do that. Still, what can he do? He did no mistake to his part, except for being born charming, cute and fair.

Two days before when I saw her, she was feeding food for him and I was hurt to the core on seeing the incident. My anger had boiled down to tears, and I broke. It took almost close to three hours for me stop crying, I felt I had cried more than how much I would have cried when I was born.

I have been trying to understand where it all went wrong, but to my fortune, till now, I haven't been able spot it out. Once for all, I decided to tell all my feelings to her, no matter how she is going to deal with it. I have heard my dad saying a lot of times 'Something is better than nothing!' and I made up my mind to do 'something'.

I fixed today to be the 'DATE' for throwing open in front of her the 'TALE' of my pure love for her. I don't know whether I will get a positive response from her, but I pray God that only the best happens.

Trrrrriinnnnnnggggg...

My school bell has rung. The lunch break is over. My 'UKG' classmates would be ready to welcome me with the same cute smile as ever.

I hope my 'MOTHER' Nivedita will be alright, understands me and shares some time with me also, apart from that she spends with my three months old rascal 'BROTHER' Vivek.

See you after a break!!!

When Opportunity knocks..PLEASE MAKE USE OF IT

A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands their money. Once he is
given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, "Did you see me rob
this bank?"

The man replied, "Yes sir, I did." The robber then shot him in the
temper , killing him instantly.

He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man, "Did
you see me rob this bank?"

The man replied, "No sir, I didn't, but my wife did!"

Husbands are husbands and wives are better

A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan.
"What was that for?" the man asked.

The wife replied "That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket".

The man then said "When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on"

The wife apologized and went on with the housework.

Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.

Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again. Wife replied. "Your horse phoned ...... "